Requests, Orders, Standing Orders

Requests – are things which the Dominant would like the submissive to do.  They should be taken seriously and generally followed, but there is limited consequence for failing to carry them out. The limited consequence would be correction in the form of a reminder. In general this would only happen if the Dominant felt the girl was in a position to carry out the request and failed to. Requests may be ignored if something more important comes up or it is difficult to follow them. An example is that Sir Requests that he be addressed as “Sir” when there is no one else present and the girl is under Low Protocol. Failure to do so may elicit a reminder, but not a harsher correction. In Fluid Protocols, all statements of the Dominant’s wishes are taken to be requests unless they are specified to be otherwise. Typically Sir would distinguish an order in this context by saying “this is an order” or “this is an instruction.”

Orders/Instructions – are things which the Dominant means for the submissive to do. They should be done, immediately or timely, and as ordered. In Rigid Protocols, all statements of the Dominant’s wished are taken to be Orders or Instructions unless they are specified to be requests.

Standing Orders/Instructions – are ongoing or open ended tasks or wishes to fulfill. An example of a Standing Order might be “when I take a shower, always lay my clothes out on the bed.” A Standing Order may require time and attention outside the negotiated scene. For example “I wish you to clean these boots by next Thursday” may imply time spent between scenes in completing the task. This falls under Assignments.  
Assignments – typically I feel that it is incumbent upon both partners in a D/s relationship to spend some time outside that relationship doing work to maintain it. This will typically take the form of writing, reading and studying for myself, and of directed assignments or homework for my submissive.


Every submissive should have two safewords. Typically the standard safewords are “red” and “yellow.”

Red – means to stop the activity immediately or as soon as practical.  In the case of bondage she should be freed as soon as is possible

Orange/Yellow – means to stop the scene to discuss, adjust, etc.  It may be called for any number of reasons. There is a preference for “orange” because “yellow” may be heard as “oww” in noisy situations or if the submissive is having trouble breathing.  

Help – is recognized as a call for a DM to intervene in many club settings. “Help” should not be used in roleplay scenes without prior planning.  

Personal Safewords – may take the place of “red” or “yellow.” Sir is responsible for knowing them, but it is useful to know the generic safewords as they will also be recognizable to others.

Bratting with Safewords

Sir expects a very high standard from his submissives. There are a very limited number of submissives who use the “yellow” safeword to constantly adjust the scene, essentially regulating each situation or stimulus to the point where they are in fact the ones in control. This is basis for punishment. Such punishment will not occur without warning, and without out of scene discussion as to whether or not the relationship can and should continue.

In this event, Sir reserves the right, as punishment, to remove the “yellow” safeword, and to make it clear that either the scene must be called (using “red”) or the situation endured.  

This is a very uncommon issue, since most submissives are better than this, however it does bear mentioning in these Protocols. This will not happen without prior warning and opportunity for discussion.

Failing to Safeword

It is important that a girl be able to safeword, and training her to be able to safeword is a legitimate part of training.  That said, it is incumbent on Sir to be well aware that when she is sufficiently worked up she may lack the ability to safeword. Failure of a submissive to safeword is no excuse for injuring a submissive.

Correction v. Punishment

Correction is when a submissive forgets or fails, but is trying.  

Punishment is for when a submissive fails to try or lets her pride get in the way of doing what she is told to do, or being subversive towards her own submission. Typically it is a matter of substantial negligence or willfulness. The worst thing about punishment is that you disappoint your Dominant.

There is no “endless curve” of Punishment. Safewords always apply to punishment. Depending on a girl’s tolerances and the nature of the offense, the most severe punishment is to end the scene, withdraw Sir’s collar and have a discussion as equals about whether or not to continue the relationship.

Punishment is never delivered for safewords unless there is a standing warning concerning using them to “top from the bottom.”

In Scene

Some Protocols may specify “except when in scene.” This pertains specifically to a BDSM scene in which there is an element of duress that exceeds the existing D/s relationship. There is no crystal clear determiner of “in scene,” however typically it would begin when she had either begun to be restrained with the clear intent of starting a scene, or when Sir had begun to use a toy or tool on her. To some extent this requires intelligence and judgment on her part.  Waiting for Sir to prep toys or a surface at a club is not “in scene,” but being tied down or cuffed is. If it is clear a scene is beginning it is incumbent on her to review whether or not she has any requests (water, bathroom, etc.) which cannot be accommodated in scene.

Asking for Discipline

There are times when a submissive may wish for bondage, pain, or other S/M treatment in order to help her to focus.  In this situation she may address Sir and state “she needs discipline, Sir.” Sir may determine for himself what discipline is to be applied, or may ask her for more information. This is a request, and may be denied, however it is a request that will typically be given fairly high priority.